It’s hard, especially when we live in an age where it’s easy to get distracted by celebrity scandals, political divisions, and rampaging groundhogs.

But I am here to help. This week I am launching a new feature called “Ask Scientific Scott”. This feature categorizes the latest science-related news for easy consumption in a Q&A format. And who better to answer important science questions than a man who barely graduated from public school with an English major and a minor in Old Milwaukee?

Q. Scientist Scott, is there a downside to nuclear warfare?

A. Believe it or not, there is. Those of us who don’t have nuclear secrets in a locked grocery bag at our beach house learned last week that an all-out nuclear war could kill her nearly 5 billion people. Scientifically speaking, it’s a lot.

While we tend to focus on the advantages of nuclear warfare, such as ample parking, tanning, and the ability to cook hot pockets in mailboxes, multiple media outlets have argued that modern nuclear warfare isn’t the first explosion. billions of people are reported to have died in from the effects of the ensuing global famine.

“Scientists at Rutgers University have mapped the effects of six possible nuclear conflict scenarios,” reads a Bloomberg article. “A worst-case all-out war between the United States and Russia would wipe out more than half of humanity,” they said in a study published in the journal Nature Food. It was based on calculations of the amount of soot entering the atmosphere from a firestorm.”

Q. Wow! Thanks for the important information, Scientific Scott. If I happen to survive a nuclear war, could I catch COVID-19 by playing my trombone in the face of another survivor?

A. Possibly, but the possibility of infection isn’t just telling them about the horrors of living in a nuclear wasteland.

According to an article published by HealthyDay News, the study found that “aerosols produced by wind instruments such as trombones and flutes were found to be less problematic than aerosols emitted during normal speech and breathing.” .

This comes after many music groups canceled performances during the pandemic, leaving a handful of trombone enthusiasts devastated.

“In this study, researchers from the University of Pennsylvania collaborated with the Philadelphia Orchestra to better understand the amount of aerosol produced and dispersed by wind instruments,” the article reads.

Q. Great news, Scientific Scott. If Trombone and I survived a nuclear war, could we eat grapes and live forever?

A. I don’t understand why. According to an article on Healthline.com, “A series of new studies published in the journal Foods suggest that grape consumption may have a significant impact on health and mortality, especially in high-fat western diets. It’s noticeable when added to a formal meal.”

This study was funded in part by the California Grape Commission, well known for its unbiased opinion on grapes.

Additionally, Ask Scientific Scott suggests stocking up on grapes in preparation for the coming nuclear war. Offering free grapes may be the only way to inspire an audience to a trombone recital in a scorched nuclear wasteland.

So, that’s all for the latest science news. Here we return to celebrity scandals, political divisions and rampaging groundhogs.