How to quickly change someone’s mind, according to science
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There’s an old saying, “It’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind.” This was used in a slightly derogatory manner, but the ability to change minds is a positive trait, as if all women are fickle and indecisive.
Too often people stick to their opinions and refuse to waver. For example, changing your mind about a problem makes you weak and immature. But the ability to determine that you used to feel the same about something but now feel different is mature and thoughtful.
No matter how stubborn you are, there are times when you get swayed and there are times when you want to influence someone.
According to a Cornell University study, “Changing someone’s opinion is arguably one of the most important challenges of social interaction. The underlying processes have proven difficult to study. It is difficult to know how opinions are formed and whether and how someone’s opinion will change.”
So the researchers looked at about two years of postings on ChangeMyView, a Reddit forum. In this forum, contributors post arguments and invite people to refute them.
Topics cover everything from ‘big business is good’ to ‘near-death experiences are pretty good proof of the afterlife’. Commenters should explain in detail why. Respondents are also asked to let other users know when their views have changed and to explain what has changed.
By analyzing these interactions, researchers were able to study exactly what persuaded people (outside the lab). There are a few things to remember when trying to change someone’s mind.
Here’s how to change a person’s mind quickly.
1. First, discover if the person is open to other ideas.
Researchers say that the language people use to express their opinions may reveal whether their opinions are modifiable.
Researchers have found that first-person pronouns like “I” indicate whether an opinion is malleable, while first-person plural pronouns like “we” suggest the opposite.
Adjustable opinions were expressed more positively using words such as “help me” and “please” as well as adjectives and adverbs.
2. It’s a numbers game.
The study found that the more people tried to persuade the original poster to change their mind, the more likely that person would actually change their mind. I believe there is power in numbers.
3. Timing is everything.
If you are one of the first to reply to a post, you are more likely to persuade the original poster than someone who replies later.
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4. Always use soft language.
Yes, speaking calmly can be boring, but calming words are also perceived differently. It’s all about avoiding words that excite us and excite us all.
A more blunt, less provocative language can draw people to your side.
5. Convey your point with concrete examples.
As humans, we like concrete, simple materials that are easy to work with.
Definite articles such as “the” instead of “a” and phrases such as “for example”, “for instance”, and “eg,” are found in favor. Also, links to supporting material can be very helpful in drawing someone over to your side.
6. Don’t pull the person back to yourself.
When you try to change people’s minds, you may be tempted to do so.
However, the study determined that directly citing someone you’re trying to change their minds on can backfire. Because it may look like
7. Limit the amount of exchange.
The study also found that discussions can involve multiple interactions, which may not work in your favor.
In fact, too many comments (3 or 4 or more) back and forth between the original poster and the challenger won’t change the person’s mind.
Convincing someone to change their minds is no easy task, and even with these tips, it may not be possible. However, if you can prove your point and handle the situation with courtesy, you may succeed.
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Christine Schoenwald is a writer and performer. She has her articles in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Bustle, Medium, and Woman’s Day. Visit her website or Instagram.
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