Forbes magazine recently asked, “Is there science behind why teens wear hoodies in the summer?”

Believe it or not, I was a teenager myself. That’s true. I was.

I remember when Georgie Washington, Tommy Jefferson, Benny Franklin and I played tag in the back of the school building. Georgie lives on the other side of the river and his plan was to collect all the coins after school…

But I digress. The point is, I was once a real teenager, so I can clearly state that there was absolutely no science behind anything we did. It’s not science.

When I was in junior high school, I wore elephant bottoms. Once your platform shoes were visible, your bells weren’t bulky enough.I could have sewed another pair of peg leg pants out of all the material that flows around the calves, ankles and toes.

No one has ever suggested that there is science behind why we clean our floors just by walking down a hallway. Most of the time I heard adults mutter, “It’s dangerous if kids have brains.”

Today, as a bona fide old man, I often shake my head when I see teenagers striding around in 90-degree temperatures with a hood over their face. He can hear himself mumbling. “If children had brains…”

But I prefer the logic of a child to the so-called adult sense. So I read a Forbes article to discover if science actually has something to do with summer hoodies. , known as adulthood, but claims to be.

A soft outerwear essentially acts as a weighted blanket that you wear, he writes. This is because deep blanket pressure therapy increases levels of the happiness hormone serotonin and the relaxation hormone melatonin, and decreases the stress hormone cortisol.

Shepherd claims that teens snuggle up to Parker for emotional support.

I think teenagers often wear hoodies to look cool. That’s what we thought elephant bells and platform shoes did for us.

By the time I got to college, bib overalls emerged as a cool way to wear them. “They are very comfortable,” cried the city children. “I feel close to nature. Is this why you people in the countryside wear them?”

That thought would have been dispelled once I got back to the farm and smelled my real overalls spattered with tractor grease, cow snot and grain dust. We wore them for common sense. “Peel them off outside,” cried Mom. “You didn’t track that gunk home.”

In January, I wore a hoodie under my coveralls to keep my ears from snapping into ice robes and snapping.Forget serotonin, melatonin, and cortisol. It was the possibility of a cryogenic experiment that bothered us.

Back in the day, Georgie, Tommy, Benny, and I wore hoods on our heads to keep science from happening.

Not only is Cole not a scientist, he has never been accused of being a fashion guru. Educate him at burtseyeview@tribtoday.com, his Burton W. Cole page on Facebook, or www.burtonwcole.com.