DEAR ABBY: My fiancé and I went to his co-worker “Tina’s” house on a Friday night to socialize and play trivia games. We had been at her place before, for a Christmas party. Tina wore a short skirt, and when she sat down you could see all the way up to her black lace panties. During our “heads-up” game she sat right across from my fiancé. While people were laughing and having fun drinking and playing games, all I could notice were her panties and Tina’s loud laughs. She was drinking, and my fiancé asked her, “Baby, are you feeling okay?” He said it loudly. Everyone heard it, and I felt myself getting really angry and red in the face. Why was he calling her Baby? We call each other that!

I don’t want to return to Tina’s house. My fiancé says I overreacted. He doesn’t tell me about his goings-on at work or about friend hangouts. We usually go out together alone. When I think back on that night, I still feel upset about it. Are my feelings valid? Do you think we need couples therapy before we get married? — UNEASY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR UNEASY: Allow me to save you some money. Rather than tell your fiance you think you need couples counseling because his co-worker drinks too much, say instead you were not impressed by the performance Tina put on that evening, and you prefer the two of you skip game nights at her place and socialize with people with whom you have more in common.

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MORE FROM DEAR ABBY:

Dear Abby: Instead of asking those in need how you can help, tell them what you will do to help

Dear Abby: My husband and I separated and then reunited, but now his son never wants to see me again

Dear Abby: My wife’s crossword hobby has become an obsession

Dear Abby: Surly neighbor alienates good samaritan

Dear Abby: I’ll soon be 40, and I still have no idea what I want to be when I ‘grow up’

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in “What Every Teen Should Know.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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