DEAR ABBY: I’m a high school student who has dated a girl once in a while. The first time we didn’t have much in common, but we enjoyed each other’s company. She liked another guy, so after about three months she broke up with me. I was okay with that.

This year, I started dating her again. We started kissing right away. She found someone online who somehow attracted her within hours, and two days later I was dumped again. His parents took his phone away from him the next day. She now says she regrets dumping me and that I’m always on her mind at some point during the day.

She doesn’t have high self-esteem or self-confidence. I think she feels disconnected because of her many years of home schooling. She is also extremely depressed, I can tell. She’s been talking to a therapist for a year, but it hasn’t helped, and she’s trying another one soon.

I don’t know how to help her or if I should go out with her again. I love her, though, and I want to get to know her better, but we’re both confused. I’m afraid I won’t suit her even though we’re attracted. Please tell me how I can help her. — BOY IN LOVE IN GEORGIA

DEAR BOY IN LOVE: You are right to say that the girl you are describing is “confused”. She’s not ready for a relationship with anyone at this point. Before you can help her, it’s important that you help yourself by recognizing that her problems are more complicated than you can solve.

It’s not a reflection on you. Caring for her – loving her – is not enough. For your own good, take a step back. Be the friend she needs, but don’t rely on her until she fixes the issues that are bothering her.

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MORE FROM DEAR ABBY:

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Dear Abby: I’ve only ever been nice to my sister-in-law, but she verbally abuses me on several occasions.

Dear Abby: How can I tell a childhood friend that I’m not interested in pursuing an adult friendship with them?

Dear Abby: When my husband is with his mother, he becomes a ‘cold, bratty kid’

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