DEAR ABBY: When our son went to college years ago, he traveled all summer with a school-sponsored ministry singing group. The members were all smart, attractive, talented young men and women — a group of four.

I stopped going to his concerts because my husband became attracted to one of the young women. She was very outgoing and annoying, so I didn’t mind letting my husband go alone. After they all graduated, I thought I’d never see her again. Now, all these years later, she’s a missionary, and the church we attend is sponsoring her, so I have had to see her once and I’ll probably have to see her again.

I know to keep quiet about it because my husband says he doesn’t want to hear it. I don’t honestly think his thoughts are inappropriate. I just think he’s not aware of how obviously attracted he is to this young woman. I don’t act that way toward other men, even if they are attractive. Maybe especially if they are attractive. I wonder if other women experience this and how they cope. — SLIGHTLY JEALOUS IN OREGON

DEAR SLIGHTLY JEALOUS: This situation occurs with both husbands and wives. They cope in different ways. Some make a joke out of it. Others make a point of accompanying their spouse whenever they know the “crush” is around. Nowhere in your letter did you state that this younger woman is attracted to your husband or a threat to your marriage. He’s old enough to be her father.

Obviously, you have talked to him about it, or he wouldn’t be telling you he’s sick of hearing it. Be patient and let the torch subside. Eventually, she will be transferred to another ministry, and you will be rid of her once again.

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MORE FROM DEAR ABBY:

Dear Abby: I don’t want to sleep with him in the bed he shared with his ex

Dear Abby: Woman is fuming that her mother-in-law exposes her child to secondhand smoke

Dear Abby: ‘Dear old friends’ should be able to say just about anything to one another

Dear Abby: I am 36, still single and depressed about it

Dear Abby: 8-year-old wonders how to share her feelings with her mother

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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