DEAR ABBY: My husband passed away four years ago. I started dating my current beau two years ago. We are great friends. We are supportive of each other and enjoy our new life together.

I have drifted apart from my late husband’s side of the family. We’re still friendly but don’t have as frequent contact as we used to because we all live great distances apart. I care a lot for my former sister-in-law, but my brother-in-law was rude and distant to my beau when they visited me. It rubbed me the wrong way. I never liked him anyway, and neither did my husband. The only reason we spent time with them is because of his wife.

Now that I’m moving forward with my new life, I no longer want them staying with me on visits and vice versa. I plan to continue phone contact with my sister-in-law and other family members from time to time. Am I handling this properly? I feel guilty sometimes, but I’ve never experienced anything like this before because my husband and I were together for 32 years. — NEW TERRITORY IN ARIZONA

DEAR NEW TERRITORY: In light of the fact that your former brother-in-law can’t accept that you have a new man in your life, your solution to the problem seems appropriate. Because the former BIL clearly doesn’t care for your gentleman friend, you shouldn’t have them as houseguests.

If you are asked why the invitations are no longer forthcoming, tell your former sister-in-law you love her and don’t want to lose contact with her, but in the future, you will no longer be entertaining the way you did before your late husband’s death.

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MORE FROM DEAR ABBY:

Dear Abby: My live-in boyfriend snaps at me and stays out until daylight

Dear Abby: I’m tired of being the social glue. How do I get my adult children to plan family events?

Dear Abby: I’m losing sleep over money and my husband refuses to sell $10K+ worth of collectibles

Dear Abby: My mom walked out on my dad and six months after the divorce … she got engaged!

Dear Abby: Husband and wife – both retired and both fighting cancer – argue about daughter’s medical bills

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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