DEAR ABBY: When my grandchild was born five years ago, my daughter suffered from severe postpartum depression and had to be hospitalized. Her father, who is not in good health, and I lived seven hours away and traveled as often as we could to help out. At one point my son-in-law called and told me she was catatonic and not responding to him. It was terrifying.

Now, these few years later, her husband is pressuring my daughter to have another child. My daughter is understandably afraid, and I’m afraid for her. She thinks her husband has forgotten what they went through. I know it’s not my decision to make, but she’s my daughter, and I worry about her well-being. She knows how I feel but tells me she feels caught between my feelings and those of her husband. She told me I won’t always be around and she will have to deal with his resentment.

I don’t understand why he would want my daughter to risk another bout of the PPD she suffered the first time. I don’t want to sound critical of him, but he can be very selfish. Fearing for my daughter’s life after the birth of her child was one of the most stressful things I’ve ever experienced. Can you please advise me what to say to my daughter, or should I just keep quiet? — TRAUMATIZED IN ALABAMA

DEAR TRAUMATIZED: I am sure your daughter is already aware of your opinion. That’s why I’m suggesting that, when you talk to her about this, you urge her to CONSULT HER DOCTOR regarding another pregnancy and take her cues from someone in the medical community who knows her history.

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