Dear Abby: My boyfriend is ‘emotionally involved’ with another woman who doesn’t know about me

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DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, “Rick,” and I broke up 10 years ago and reunited two years ago. I’m in good health, own my own home, and am financially independent. Rick is nine years older. He owns his own home and is retired. We have been seeing each other every week for the last two years. He has spent many hours painting and doing repairs to my house. I cook for him and give him massages, and we have a fantastic sex life.
So, what is the problem? Rick is emotionally involved with another woman. He claims they aren’t in any way sexually involved. Should I tell her about his involvement with me? I have her name, address and phone number. Rick refuses to tell her about me because he says it will “upset her.” I think she ought to know. What do you think I should do? I love him dearly and don’t want to lose him. — BEING PLAYED IN NEW JERSEY?
DEAR BEING PLAYED?: Listen to your intuition. The first thing you should do (if you haven’t) is ask Rick WHY that woman’s knowing about you would “upset” her. (Does she think his relationship with her is exclusive?) The second would be to tell him you would like him to introduce the two of you. If he refuses, call her. You deserve to know exactly what’s going on, which may be that they are much more involved than he has been admitting.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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